They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
