I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
