great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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