He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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