just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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