to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dicks are not precious.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
