it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
