worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
