It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
