I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
