kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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