First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
