: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
