Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
