question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
