How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
