Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My vagina is officially offended.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
