Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
