I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
