ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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