I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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