Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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