she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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