I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
