Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
