Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
