hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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