if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
