Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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