their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
