So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
