dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
