he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
