apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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