Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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