I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
