I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
