quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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