drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
