i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
