at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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