She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
