Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
