Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
