I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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