I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
