I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
