Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
