if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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