i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
