Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm both gender and math confused
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
