Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
