I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
