u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Come see our sink grown plant.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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