i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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