haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
