I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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