nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize