Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
