"it" just moved
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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